Apocalypse Cow

Like many of our generation, weathering this extended economic storm has been a bit of a challenge. I have a full time job and a steady paycheck with benefits so I can't complain too much. But over the last four years the buying power of that income has gone steadily downhill. We have become experts in frugality and what we call "bunkering down". Bunkering down is eating at home, and carpooling, and telecommuting, and watching TV on the internet instead of going out to movies or other entertainment. It's manageable. But it's also boring. We've tried to make changes, to get onto a more lucrative path, but things are slow and competition is high. We've decided to take a broader view of our situation. When moving up seemed impossible it was time to look at moving in a different direction. So when our friends (and coworkers) recently bought a farm just outside of town and announced that they needed tenants to rent out their farm house, we decided to take a drive and see how it felt.

We were hooked. 16acres of fields and trees, sheep and chickens, fishing and hunting and farming. It was an absurd decision. We're not farmers. I raised rabbits for 4-H as a kid, and Melanie grows flowers, but otherwise we've got very little experience. On paper the decision was very difficult to make. Financially the added commute pretty much washed away the cost savings. But something just felt like it was the decision that needed to be made.

In the last few months there have been three shootings in our neighborhood. In May my Jeep was stolen and used in an attempted bank robbery. When we were in our 20's living in crime ridden poor neighborhoods had cache'. Melanie and I first moved in together in a 500 sq foot converted garage apartment in the heart of the avenues in Los Angeles. The Avenidas is one of the oldest and most established Mexican gangs in Los Angeles and at times one of the most violent. Joe, an older gang member lived across the street from us. He has a 6" scar on his abdomen from when he was shot right in the driveway to our house some years before we met him. Living on our block we had a sort of de-facto gang protection. Several of the older members lived there, throat tattoos and all, and it was understood that trouble was to stay away from them. "Anybody gives you a problem man, you tell me first. We take care of each other around here" Joe would say. At that age it was like being a war corespondent. Helicopters with spotlights hovered over our house at night. I'd tell people at parties about the time I walked out of the taco place on Glendale and Alvarado into a shootout. Diving under a car while guys emptied magazines of 9mm at each other not more than 20 feet on either side of me. But looking at 35 I'm tired of being lucky to survive with a good story. What used to feel like Robert Duvall stepping off a helicopter in Apocalypse now is turning into Mark Lee in a trench in Galipoli.

Maybe it's not a huge money saving decision. We're going to move out to the country, raise livestock, plant tomatoes, can things, hunt and fish and do farm stuff. It might be just for a year, it might be longer. But we're excited again. We're moving instead of holding fast. I've decided to chronicle the experience here. I'm planning on using the time to teach myself all sorts of subsistence skills and learn all about how to make all kinds of stuff. So check in from time to time, you can learn with us. I'll post projects and recipes as we go and updates on all the things we're doing. It's bound to be an adventure, no matter what.

S.O.S.

Shit on a Shingle (creamed, chipped beef on toast)

Bread is used to extend meat further in a meal than it would otherwise have gone. Often a solution in tough times it helps to absorb nutrients that would otherwise have melted away and been discarded. Meat loaf and hamburgers are pushed to additional servings with bread crumbs or oatmeal quite often. S.O.S. is one of the most common meals for the budget conscious people in recent history. It is a recipe I've seen a great many places and is widely recognized.

There are many variations on this dish and I'm sure if you look you will find one if not many that you enjoy. The origins of the dish can be loosely traced to the US military in the early part of the 20th century.

Creamed Chipped Beef is available both canned and frozen, with or without sauce.

1 Jar dried chipped beef
32 oz beef stock
3/4 cup unbleached flour
1/2 stick butter
1 cup milk
6 slices bread

In a medium sauce pan heat milk and butter, stir in flour till you have a nice roux. Add beef stock and simmer over low heat till the sauce is thick like a nice gravy. Add in chipped beef. Heat just long enough to evenly cook all the beef. Any longer and the sauce will saturate the salted meat. Toast bread. Spoon meat and sauce onto toast and serve.

I assume that you have a toaster but if you do not a careful hobo can make toast on just about any stove or open fire. It's no different than browning the perfect marshmallow.

Enjoy.

Make Your Own Mayonaise

1 Egg
1/4cup Vinegar (apple cider if available)
1cup Light Olive Oil (vegetable oil will due)
1pinch of salt


Combine ingredients except oil and whisk together then add oil a little at a time. Blend. Refrigerate.

Boot Soup

Ingredients:

1 Well worn leather boot
1 Gallon water
16oz Beef Stock (old soup strained through a sock will suffice)
1 Large Onion
6 Stalks Celery (restaurants throw celery out before it gets too soft)
3 Large tomatoes
1tbs Salt (free at fast food restaurants)
2tsp Pepper



Remove all non leather components from the boot. Remove laces (they may be used for all kinds of tasty snacks and teas). Skin and chop the onion. Brown onion in the bottom of a large pot or small barrel. Add the stock and bring to a boil. Slowly add water and return to a boil. You may slice up the components of the boot or cook it whole. Add boot to water and return to boil. Lift pot above your burn barrel fire to a height safe to maintain a slow rolling boil. Cook for three hours and then add chopped vegetables. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cook for another hour, cool and serve.

Serves 4 (up to six with more water)